Lonely
by Katharina
Summary: Tess is in Kyle’s room thinking about her life. She realizes how wrong she was about their destiny. Will she still become friends with the others?
1. Lonely

Title: Lonely  
  
Author: Katharina  
  
E-mail: 0Katharina0@gmx.de  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: Roswell belongs to UPN and Melinda Metz. I'm just borrowing the characters. I don't make any money with this Fic.  
  
Summery: Tess is in Kyle's room thinking about her life.  
  
Category: UC (Kyle/Tess)  
  
Authors Note: This is my first Fan Fic. I just gave it a shot. Please write me Feedback so I know what to do better next time.  
  
This Fic happens at the beginning of season 2. Tess will NOT kill Alex.  
  
Lonely  
  
By Katharina  
  
My whole life Nasedo had told me what to do. He had thought me how to use m powers and he told me about my destiny. The past years he had convinced me that I love Zan and that it is my wish to be with him forever. He repeated it so many times; and I believed him. Why shouldn't I? He was my family, the only person I had. I believed every of his words, and I thought the others would do the same. It was a shock when I first met Max and found out he was together with Liz Parker. How could he fell in love with her? I'm his wife. I'm his destiny. He is supposed to love me; only me.  
  
That's what I thought those days. But I was wrong. Nasedo had been wrong. We are not Zan and Ava. We are Max and Tess! When I realized that my world broke down. Nothing Nasedo had told me was real, and all my feelings for Max were only illusions. I'm not Ava. I will never be her. She was my past; my present and my future are different. I need to accept that.  
  
But it is not easy. I have lost everything. Not only Nasedo, but also everything I believed in. I don't know who I am any longer. Who is Tess Harding? An alien, yeah, that's what I am; in any way possible. I don't really belong her, to Roswell. Why did I stay here? To be with the others, so we are complete? I don't think so. I'll never belong to them. They wont let me. I destroyed too much. I'll always be the unwanted fourth member of the club. Why did I stay? Because Jim lets me live in his house? Maybe. It was so easy. I didn't need to worry where to go. He doesn't do it for me, though. He promised it and he feels like he has to do it. Because Max healed his son.  
  
I'm so jealous. Jealous, because Kyle has a father who would do everything for him. Nasedo never did anything because of me. He did it because it was his job. We were never that close.  
  
Since I stay at their house I've come to know how lonely I am. I don't have anybody and I don't know what to do.  
  
Knock! Knock!  
  
Somebody had knocked on the door to Kyle's room. Tess wished the tears of her face, she hadn't even realized she was crying. Then she got off the bed and unlocked the door. "Hi," it was Kyle standing on the other site of the door. "Can I come in, or is my own room off limits now?" he asked with a little bit of irony in his voice. Kyle walked pass her to his closet. Tess didn't reply. He had kind of caught her off guard and she didn't know what to do. Also is it pretty difficult to play cool when your face is read from crying and you feel like you would start crying again any time soon. "I just need some things, you know." But Tess wasn't really listening. She still stood next to the door and couldn't move. Surprised because she didn't say something Kyle turned around. Yet he noticed her red eyes and saw that she was shivering. "Are you ok? Tess?" She still wasn't able to answer. All she could think was: Hold back the tears. Don't let him see you crying. He'll be gone in just a second. But Kyle didn't intend on leaving. He put the things he had come for down and stepped in front of her. Kyle saw in Tess' eyes and all he could see was sadness. Wordless he took her hands, but Tess didn't react. So he pulled her into a hug and held her tight. That was when Tess lost the control over herself and buried her face in his shoulder, letting her tears free.  
  
They stood like this for a long time until Tess finally calmed down. After she had stopped crying Kyle pulled away from Tess to see in her eyes. He didn't really know what to do. He had acted on instinct. Tess looked up to him, confusion written all over her face. Somehow Kyle knew he couldn't leave her alone. They sat down on the bed, still close to each other. It took her some time, but eventually Tess got over her fear and told Kyle everything she had been thinking about. And Kyle just listened. Sure he was surprised about what he heard. He had pictured Tess always as cold, a girl/alien who knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it. Now he had to discover how lonely and scared she really was and definitely more human than he had given her credit for.  
  
Kyle and Tess talked for a long time that day. Later on they both fell asleep on Kyle's bed. The next morning Tess woke up in Kyle's arms smiling. She didn't feel lonely anymore. She had Kyle… 


	2. At the movies

Part II  
  
After the day Kyle and Tess had talked to each other things changed. It seemed like Tess had decided to avoid the other aliens. In fact the only person she spent time with now was Kyle. They went to the cinema together, skated in the park, went on parties… For the first time in her life Tess lived like a normal teenager. She loved every day she could spent with Kyle.  
  
She loved the days, but she feared the nights. At night, when she was alone in her bed, she couldn't stop worrying about her future and she questioned how she could make the other aliens accept her. Only together they could fight their enemies. Every single night she tried to find a solution for her problem, but at the next morning she never know what to do. So Tess just tried to get out of Max's, Michael's, and Isabel's way, hoping that one day they would come to her. Meanwhile she just spent time with Kyle and had a lot of fun.  
  
Kyle liked being with Tess, too. He had realized that she was not that much different from him. Yes, she was an alien, but a part of her was human also. He slowly lost his fear. Instead he felt sorry for Tess. She really had a bad childhood and it looked like she never got to have fun before. So he made it his mission to change that. He took her with him when he went to the parties of his football friends or they watched movies together. Basically he showed her all the stuff normal teenager do. Soon he didn't only asked her to come along because he felt sorry for her, but also because he just liked to hang out with Tess. He had never had such a close friend before.  
  
"Tess are you ready? We're going to be late." Kyle was already standing at the door, his keys in his hands. They had planned to go to the movies to see one of the new action movies Kyle just had to see. But Tess was running late. If they wouldn't go right now they would miss the beginning of the movie. "I'm there in just a minute." Tess yelled. "You said that ten minutes ago. What the hell are you doing?" Finally Tess came out of his former room, putting on her jacket while walking. "Girls just need some extra time. You should know this by now, Kyle. I can't go in public with just some old jeans, a t-shirt and uncombed hair, like you do." Kyle pushed her out of the door, mumbling something about girls and spending hours in bathrooms. Tess pretended that she didn't hear it.  
  
"Can I drive?" Tess looked pleading at Kyle. "NO!" He really regretted that he had thought her how to drive a car. It was always an adventure to drive with her. Usually it takes his nerves about two weeks to recover. "Please Kyle." Tess tried again. "No Tess! I still have nightmares from the last time you drove my car. You nearly hit a truck."  
  
"I did not. I just got a little close to it. It's not my fault when you panic that easily." Kyle just looked at her and then got into the car. "Are you coming?" Tess realized that she had no chance today and sat next to him. Not without telling him that he was unfair and mean though. Kyle didn't really care. She told him that at least twice a day and he was almost sure she didn't really mean it.  
  
They arrived two minutes after the movie started at the cinema. It took them a while to buy their tickets and some popcorn, so the commercials where already at the end when they finally got to their seats. It was dark and they hurried to sit down, so they wouldn't disturb anyone. That's why they didn't realized who was sitting three rows above them.  
  
But Max, Liz Isabel, Alex and Maria saw them. They had been a little surprised when Tess had started to spend more time with Kyle, yet they didn't have a problem with it. Above all Liz was glad that Tess had stopped flirting with Max. During the movie Liz tried to ignore her. Besides in that moment Max laid his arm around her shoulders she forgot that Tess even existed. Maria didn't have time to worry about Tess, because she totally concentrated on being mad on Michael for not going with them to the movie theater. Alex was more concerned about the fact that Isabel wasn't sitting next to him. She had ignored him the whole day. So the only one left to think about Tess was Isabel. She had tried a couple of times to convince Max and Michael that they needed to be friends with Tess. After all she was the fourth Alien. But they didn't even listen to her. They were still confused by the whole destiny thing and thought it would be easier to leave her alone. She had started all the crap about Isabel and Michael belonging together, as well as Max and Tess herself. Isabel didn't like the destiny either (she and Michael?) but she wanted that Tess belonged to them. She wanted a friend who was like her.  
  
When the movie was over Isabel walked quickly to Kyle and Tess. "Hi" Kyle and Tess looked up. "Hi Isabel." Kyle could hear in Tess voice that she was unsure what to do. "Ehm, I'm going to the Crashdown with the others. Wanna come?"  
  
"Sure." Tess smiled. They followed Isabel out of the cinema. At the parking lot Isabel went to Max's jeep and Tess drove with Kyle. They agreed to meet at the Crashdown. 


	3. Reactions

"Why did you invite her?" Max didn't seem to be looking forward to spend the evening with Tess. They were driving to the Crashdown and Isabel had just told the others that Kyle and Tess would come along. "I just thought it would be nice if they would come, too." It was obvious that nobody else in the car had the same opinion. Liz especially didn't want Tess to come; not now. Max and she just started to get close again, and she didn't want Tess to flirt with Max all the time. When would she understand that Max didn't want to be with her? "It is too late anyway." Said Alex. "Isabel invited them, so they are coming. Let's just try to have fun today." Nobody was surprised that Alex was on Isabel's side. He always was. Isabel smiled thankful at him. "That's the first smile I've got from her today." Thought Alex. He was in a much better mood now. Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad day after all.  
  
Sitting in Kyle's car, following Isabel and the others, Tess couldn't help but being nervous. "Could you just sit still for a second?" Said Kyle, but with a smile on his face. Tess didn't even reply. She was trying to figure out what she should do. How should she act tonight? When they pulled into the parking lot she asked Kyle: "What if they don't want me to be there?"  
  
"Isabel wouldn't invite you if she didn't want you to come."  
  
"But what is if the others are still mad with me?"  
  
Kyle turned around to Tess. He gently stroke with his hand over her cheek, trying to calm her down. "Everything will be alright, Tess. Don't worry."  
  
"But this is my last chance. I really want to belong to them."  
  
"Tess, let's just go in there and have some fun. Try not to be so nervous. I'm sure everything will be ok. Just be yourself." Kyle let go of her and got out of the car. Tess slowly followed him. She was shaking. She wasn't sure though if she was shaking because she was nervous, or because of the way Kyle had touched her. 


	4. At the Crashdown

a/n  
  
I don't remember if there have been other waitresses than Maria and Liz (and the b*** Cameron) in the Crashdown. But since they can't be the only ones working there, I've just invented one.  
  
I should probably also mention that I just ignore the fact that Tess will kill Alex. My story is obviously set earlier and I promise she will never ever kill him in my Fan Fic.  
  
  
  
At the door to the Crashdown Kyle and Tess met the others. Together they went in. Nobody really knew what to say and it was awkwardly silent. They sat down at one of the tables. It was a relief when one of the waitresses came to ask what they wanted to drink. But before one of them could even say a word Liz stood up. "That's okay Lisa. I'll get it." Facing the others she said: "I guess I know what you want." Lisa went to another table with new customers and Liz disappeared into the kitchen. Sensing that something was wrong, Maria followed her best friend.  
  
"Ok, what's up Lizzie?"  
  
"Nothing!"  
  
"So it's not a problem for you that Tess is here?"  
  
"Why should I have a problem with that?" Liz didn't look in Maria's face while they were talking. Instead she started to fill glasses with cherry coke.  
  
"Liz, don't lie to me. How do you really feel about this?"  
  
Finally Liz turned around. "Why does she have to show up right now, Maria? Max and I are just about to get together. I know she is going to destroy everything."  
  
"You don't know that. Maybe she got over all that destiny stuff."  
  
"Are you on her side now."  
  
"Of course not. I'll always be on your side Liz. But why do you have to be so afraid. Just try to have a nice, normal evening and forget about Tess."  
  
"You think she won't hit on Max."  
  
"I don't know. But let's worry about that later. We will see what happens." Maria took half of the drinks and went back to their table, followed by Liz with the rest.  
  
When they came back the others were in the middle of a conversation about the new teacher they've got. They all agreed that he must come straight from hell and his only goal in life was to make each of his students as miserable as possible. "He is so mean. I did two tiny mistakes at the last homework and he gave me an 85." Tess really hated this teacher. "I know." Maria replied: "If you do just one mistake he won't give you an A. He is so stupid." Liz and Maria sat down.  
  
The ice seemed to be broken. The teenagers talked for at least two hours. They chatted about school, too much homework, evil teachers, the new cinema which was supposed to open in Roswell… They had a great time. They carefully avoided to mention anything having to do with aliens or destiny and therefore were able to relax. Even Liz had fun since Tess didn't pay any special attention to Max.  
  
They didn't even know that it got pretty late. Only when Lisa left and asked Liz to lock the doors when they were done, they realized that it was already late night. "I guess we better go home." Max stood up. "Otherwise our parents will worry were we are. Are you coming, Isabel?"  
  
"Sure. Bye everyone. It was a great evening."  
  
"Alex, Maria, do you need a ride?"  
  
"That would be great."  
  
"Then we'll leave too. Kyle also stood up.  
  
They all went to the parking lot where they said goodbye. The two cars left and Liz went back to the Crashdown.  
  
  
  
a/n  
  
Thanks for all the feedback I've got so far. But to be honest: I WANT MORE. So please, tell me if you like it. 


	5. Pillow Fight

On their way home Tess couldn't shut up for a minute. She was excited like a little child at Christmas Eve. Kyle just had to laugh. He couldn't believe that this was Tess. A few months ago she had been cold and reserved. Her only interest was to get Max. But know she was happy because she could spent an evening with all of them; humans included. "Why are you laughing, Kyle?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Are you laughing about me?" They had arrived at their house. Walking to the front door Kyle was still chuckling.  
  
"Ok, stop laughing right now." Tess demanded but without much success. Instead it made Kyle even more laugh. They went into the house. "Stop it!" She hit him with the pillow from the couch. Kyle caught it and took it away from her. Within seconds a pillow fight had started. They were chasing around the house, but Kyle eventually got Tess pinned down at the couch. "So you give up?"  
  
"Never!" She said, even though she couldn't move.  
  
"Are you sure?" He started tickling her.  
  
"You won't win, Kyle." She didn't sound very convincing, since she was laughing between her words. Kyle bend down and started tickling her under the chin. That was too much for Tess.  
  
"Okay, okay, I give up. You won."  
  
Smiling Kyle sat back, so Tess could sit up. He looked at her; her hair was disheveled, hair checks were red and her eyes were sparkling like diamonds. Kyle suddenly realized how close they were. Their faces were only inches apart. Both of them had stopped laughing. They looked in each other's eyes, neither of them sure of what to do next. Instinctively Kyle bent down towards Tess.  
  
"It's late, I'll better go to back." Tess quickly got off the couch and went into her room. "Night, Kyle."  
  
"Good night, Tess."  
  
Kyle let himself fall back on the couch. What the hell did just happen?  
  
Tess was confused, too. For a moment she had been sure that he would kiss her. She had no idea why she had panicked. But suddenly it had felt like she had to get away quickly, although she didn't know what she had been afraid of. Tess leaned against the wall. Her heart was bumming in her chest and she almost shivered. "Get a grip." She told herself. How could she be so stupid to believe Kyle wanted to kiss her? She was an alien. He would never want to get involved with her. That thought made her sad. She changed into her pyjamas and went to bed. But she couldn't sleep for a long time. Tess couldn't stop thinking about Kyle… 


	6. At the Mall

The next morning Tess woke up when the phone was ringing. "Ahhhhh" She put her pillow over her head and chose to ignore the annoying noise. Who called so early at a Sunday? A few seconds later Kyle came into the room, the phone in his hands. "Tess are you up yet?"  
  
"No." he heard from underneath the blankets."  
  
"Isabel is on the phone. She wants to talk to you."  
  
"Why does she call so early?"  
  
"Tess, it's 12:30."  
  
"Really?" Tess finally emerged from the bed and took the phone. Kyle left her room without another word.  
  
"Hi, Isabel?"  
  
"Hey Tess. Did I wake you up?"  
  
"Sort of, didn't sleep well last night."  
  
"Well, I wanted to ask you if you want to come to the mall with me. But if you're too tired."  
  
"No, no, that's okay. I would love to go."  
  
"Fine, I'll pick you up in about an hour."  
  
"Okay, see you later."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Tess got up and walked into the bathroom. She really didn't feel well. She had spent most of the night thinking about Kyle. She still didn't know what had happen between them. After a long, hot shower, she got dressed and made herself some breakfast. Kyle was sitting in front of the TV, watching some football game.  
  
After a while Isabel came with Max's Jeep to pick her up. She waited at the door while Tess went into her room to get her purse.  
  
"Hi Kyle."  
  
"Hey." He didn't even look up from the TV.  
  
"Okay, I'm ready. Let's go." Tess walked over to the door where Isabel was standing. "Bye Kyle." Finally he looked up and right into Tess' eyes. Tess couldn't meet his gaze. She almost run out the door. She didn't know how she should act around him. She hated that he made her feel unsure and nervous. Isabel followed Tess, wondering what had happen between them. Yesterday everything had been fine.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah, why shouldn't I."  
  
"Oh come on, I'm not blind. What happened between you and Kyle?"  
  
"Nothing, I don't know what you mean."  
  
Isabel knew that Tess wouldn't tell her what happened right now, so she changed the subject.  
  
The two girls spent at least three hours in the mall. Tess tried to forget what happened, but that didn't really work. She couldn't forget Kyle. Although Isabel noticed that Tess wasn't really paying attention to what they were doing, she didn't want to asked her again where the problem was. She was sure Tess would tell her when she wanted to.  
  
When they had bought so much that it was difficult to carry all the bags, they decided to take a break. They went to the ice-cream parlor and ordered two huge chocolate milkshakes. For a few minutes both were drinking their shakes quietly. Then Tess started talking: "It's so weird." Isabel looked up. Finally Tess would spill it. "First it was like always. We had fun and suddenly I felt so weird." Tess told Isabel everything that had happen yesterday. "I wished I would know why I feel so strange around him." She ended.  
  
"Oh, I know the reason."  
  
"You do?" Tess looked surprised.  
  
"Yes, you're in love with him."  
  
"I am not."  
  
"Of course you are Tess. Think about it. You are nervous when you are around him, you don't know how to act, and you just spent a night lying awake in your bed, because you were thinking about him. Face it, you're in love with Kyle Valenti."  
  
Tess didn't know what to answer. But if she was honest she had to admit that Isabel was right. "And what do I do now." She asked Isabel.  
  
Isabel just smiled. "What do you think?"  
  
"I don't know?"  
  
"What do you mean you don't know?"  
  
Tess replied with a low voice. "Well I never really…dated. Nasedo always told me it's my destiny to be with Max."  
  
"But you don't love Max anymore?"  
  
"I don't even know if I ever loved him. Nasedo always told me I would and there are all this feelings from Ava. But I never felt for him like I feel for Kyle now." She starred on her shake, not sure how Isabel would react.  
  
Isabel for once was shocked. She had realized for the first time how it must have been for Tess to grow up with Nasedo. She felt so sorry for her. She decided immediately that she would help her to get together with Kyle. But she couldn't do it alone. She didn't know him well enough. "Come on, let's go."  
  
"Where are you going, Isabel?"  
  
"Just come with me." She paid for their shakes and grabbed her bags. She then walked quickly to the jeep. Isabel knew who could help them. 


	7. Forgiving

a/n Finally I had some time to update. I hope you like it and please review.  
  
  
  
"Would you please tell me where we're going?"  
  
"No, you'll see. We're almost there.  
  
After their conversation Isabel had almost run out of the mall, back to the car. Isabel didn't tell Tess where she was going. Mostly because she wasn't sure if Tess would like the idea. They stopped in front of the Crashdown.  
  
"Why are we at the Crashdown?"  
  
"Isn't that obvious, Tess? Liz is his ex girlfriend. She knows him and…"  
  
"Oh no, there is no way that I'll asked Liz for help."  
  
"Why not."  
  
"Oh come on, Isabel. You know why, I mean, she won't want to help me anyways. I'm sure she hates me."  
  
"Because of all the things with Max?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Well, don't you think she will be glad then that you're in love with Kyle?"  
  
"I don't think she will see it that way."  
  
"You're about to find out. Lets go."  
  
Isabel pulled Tess out of the car and walked firmly towards the Crashdown. No complaining from Tess could stop her. They spotted Liz almost instantly. Isabel waited until she was done talking to one of the costumers, and then went to her, still pulling Tess behind her. "Can we talk to you Liz?"  
  
"Sure." Liz answered, with a puzzled look in her face. She couldn't imagine why Isabel and Tess would want to talk to her. Liz asked one of the other waitresses to watch her tables and they walked into the staff room. "So, what do you want?" She asked Isabel.  
  
"Actually Tess wants to talk to you." Isabel pushed Tess towards Liz and then walked quickly out of the room. The two other girls watched how she left.  
  
"What do you want?" Liz asked, less friendly than she had asked Isabel. Liz had no idea what was going on and she really didn't want to talk to Tess.  
  
"I guess…" Tess considered running out of the Crashdown, but she was sure Isabel would tell Liz anyway. Maybe it was better if she talked to Liz herself. But how do you apologize for hitting on another girls boyfriend and asked her how to get her ex?  
  
"Tess I don't have time the whole day."  
  
"Wait Liz, I really need to talk to you."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Kyle" Tess answered quietly.  
  
"What's with him?"  
  
"Nothing, it's just… I guess I need your help. I sort of like him. I know you hate me for what I did to you and Max. I can't tell you how sorry I am. But I thought I'd do the right thing. And then I spent so much time with Kyle and I realized I wasn't in love with Max. Nasedo only told me I would be. Now I need your help, because I don't know what I should do."  
  
Tess spoke really fast. She was nervous to see how Liz would react.  
  
Liz had no idea how she should respond to all this. She had never expected Tess would say something like that to her.  
  
"Liz…?"  
  
"Ehm, your saying you don't love Max?"  
  
"No, I don't. See, since I was a young girl, Nasedo always told me that I would belong to Zan. So I thought when I come here and we're finally together I would have a family. I didn't realize that this was all wrong. Because I'm not Ava and he's not Zan."  
  
"And you're in love with Kyle?"  
  
"Yeah, I think so."  
  
"Why do you want me to help you?"  
  
"Well, I never dated before…and Isabel thought since you're his ex girlfriend…"  
  
"She thought I would know what he likes?"  
  
"I guess so."  
  
"Well, than lets go find Isabel and then think about what we will do next."  
  
"You mean you'll help me?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why? I thought you would hate me"  
  
"I did. Until, lets say five minutes ago. But you said you're sorry and I guess I understand now why you did… what you did and I guess we should just make a new start or something."  
  
"Thanks Liz."  
  
"Sure."  
  
The two girls found Isabel still sitting in the Crashdown.  
  
"So how did it go?"  
  
"I gonna help you guys."  
  
"Cool."  
  
Just when they sat down Maria came in the restaurant. To say she was surprised to see Liz together with Isabel and Tess was an understatement. But the others soon told her what happened and together they planned how to bring Tess together with Kyle. 


End file.
